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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30088971">the eyes that captured me are all blind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellenuiene/pseuds/ellenuiene'>ellenuiene</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>feel the hollowness inside of your heart [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Feels, Character Study, Domestic Fluff, Everyone's got trauma, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov/Pepper Potts Feels, POV Pepper Potts, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, and they don't deal with it, but at least they have each other, kinda? idk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:19:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30088971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellenuiene/pseuds/ellenuiene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not angry. I was just really fucking terrified and you know how badly I react when it comes to you,” Steve murmured leaning forward. His thumb brushed the corner of James’s eye and Pepper could hear a small smile in his voice.</p><p>“Of course I do, you damn punk, you never listen to me,” James chuckled.</p><p>or: they all have trauma and they deal with it in their unhealthy ways (but at least they've got each other)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>feel the hollowness inside of your heart [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the eyes that captured me are all blind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is set right after the you know just how to be cruel<br/>read that one before this otherwise this won't make sense!!<br/>I just couldn't help myself, I love fluffy and domestic avengers fics so I just had to write one<br/>I also couldn't stop thinking about this little universe I got all in my head and maybe I will expand it more<br/>title from I.M - 시든 꽃 (Flower-ed) (English Translation)<br/>thank you so much for reading!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The kitchen in Natasha‘s apartment as everything was very small. It barely fit a mini-refrigerator, a couple cabinets hung high on the walls, sink, which was filled with unwashed plates and half-full coffee cups, some of them a couple weeks old, and stove which was barely used. Pepper sat on the comfortable stool in front of a counter and enjoyed her morning cereal with a dramatic show.</p><p>The show, which consisted of two super soldiers arguing as if their lives depended on it, which she could see from a broad doorframe that laked an actual door. Pepper‘s naked legs were crossed and her feet were adorned with soft wool socks while her upper body was covered by her favorite black hoodie which she was sure at some point belonged to Clint.</p><p>James was sitting on a corner of Natasha and Pepper‘s unmade bed with his legs spread wide, elbows on his knees, and watching his partner who was standing in front of him and covering the front door. Steve‘s shoulders were so wide that Pepper was sure that once Natasha came back from her quick morning grocery run, which was a must since they didn‘t have any coffee nor milk, she wouldn‘t be able to tell, except for the small alarm near the door which will beep.</p><p>Steve wasn‘t shouting and neither was James. The blond was never a shouter and James was intimidating enough without raising his voice. Pepper was pretty sure that not even once in all these years that she got to know James Barnes, the man let out a noise louder than his talking voice or the accidental creaking door as he walked in.</p><p>He was eerily quiet and sometimes it startled her. Natasha was quiet too, but she let her footsteps be heard, her voice rose and became more high-pitched when she was hurt. James never let out a sound even if someone was pulling a bullet out of his fresh wound or a sword out of his stomach.</p><p>Pepper shook her head not letting her thoughts slip further and focused on a situation at hand while shoveling dry cereal in her mouth with a big spoon. It made a loud crunching noise as she chewed which sounded like Steve‘s shield hitting a steel wall in a suddenly quiet apartment.</p><p>“Why aren’t you listening to me?” Steve’s hands were on his hips and one of his broad forearms was covering her view of James but she could hear his voice perfectly clear.</p><p>“I am,” he had a certain talent. When James talked with Natasha his voice was fond which proved that he was hiding a soft smile, when he talked with Pepper he was careful because he knew that she saw more than she let on and he wasn’t sure what she was doing here because she wasn’t a spy, an assassin nor an agent. But whenever he talked to Steve it felt like butterflies tickling her cheeks, like Natasha's soft hair on her skin as she put her head on her shoulder.</p><p>But now it reminded her of cold ice in her whiskey glass, cold panels in the arc reactor in Tony’s chest, a knife blade pressing against her throat. Pepper felt shivers run down her spine as Steve finally moved and she was able to catch a glimpse of those steely glass eyes which were looking at the blond through thick, black eyelashes.</p><p>Pepper swallowed rather loudly and lowered her spoon back into the bowl. Her nimble fingers grabbed her teacup as she drank almost half of it and didn’t lower it even when she was done. She used it to cover half of her face as her eyes followed every movement in the small space of Natasha’s apartment.</p><p>“I almost lost my mind. You didn’t take your phone with you, Natasha’s was broken, Pepper’s out of battery-“</p><p>“I don’t need you to babysit me-“</p><p>“That’s not what I am doing and <em>you know that</em>-“</p><p>“When how come it feels like it? I can take a fucking step without you hovering over me like some oversized-“</p><p>“You almost died!” Steve’s hands fell off his hips and Pepper slightly flinched as his raised shout pierced through her ears. He took a step forward and dropped to his knees in front of James. It was a similar motion – the same one he did when James was bleeding out on a bridge but different all the same. This time it was delicate and his knees hit the carpet softly, without any bone-cracking sounds or desperate whispers. Steve rested his right palm on the long-haired man’s thigh while looking straight into his eyes. For the first time in almost half an hour that they spend in a quiet shouting match trying to figure out a way out of this lover's quarrel, Pepper felt like she was intruding on a private moment. She realized that maybe this wasn’t a simple lover squat but something different. Like hers and Natasha’s quiet promise yesterday in the bathroom. “I know, believe me, I do. I know that I annoy you and irritate you but you gotta understand me, Buck. I can’t stand the thought of you hurting and then you get fucking stabbed and now you expect me to just not freak out when you leave for the whole night after an unauthorized mission? I feel like once I let you out of my sight the next time I see you, you will be lying in a fucking morgue and Nick’ll be telling me condolences.”</p><p>James closed his eyes and let his elbows slip of his knees. His cold, to this day slightly frightening, titanium alloy arm caught Steve’s palm, which was still resting on his thigh, and cradled it. Pepper still found this fascinating – how a weapon managed to softly stitch up Natasha’s wounds, fish out bullets out of Sam with minimal pain given the rough circumstances, and how gently he holds Steve’s hands whenever they are walking side by side.</p><p>She watched as he lifted the warm, flesh hand and pressed it to his own cheek. A huge sigh escaped from Steve while he cradled his partner’s cheek and didn’t flinch away from the cold metal which was covering his palm.</p><p>“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Pepper suddenly had a huge wish that Natasha’s kitchen doorframe had a door as James quietly whispered while looking straight into Steve’s eyes. It was too personal and she wanted to cover her eyes and ears but at the same time, she guiltily enjoyed watching someone else’s relationship on such a deep level.</p><p>Before Natasha Pepper had never been in a serious relationship and with her luck on her first time she jumped headfirst into decades of emotional trauma, cold and broken hearts, weaponized limbs, blood under fingernails, and assassinations.</p><p>She didn’t regret it but she couldn’t deny the shock and fear as she realized that being with a certain Russian redhead entailed taking care of a deaf archer who couldn’t cook to save his own life and was even more emotionally unavailable than a brainwashed assassin, the said brainwashed assassin who could kill so efficiently and quietly that it terrified her and who was Natasha’s shadow following her every step of the way because of their shared history. Natasha brought not only those two emotionally shunned men but also a traumatized veteran who tried to help them every step of the way instead of focusing on his own nightmares and screams in the dead of the night which woke them all up if he stayed on the couch and a national icon who was so deeply depressed he still cried himself to sleep and couldn’t let his partner-boyfriend-best friend out of his eyesight even for a couple minutes without having a panic attack and hyperventilating to the point where he convinced himself that James was dead and he was all alone again.</p><p>It was a lot to unpack. Pepper still freaked out about it almost every night and wanted to cry whenever one of them was crying or in any pain. And maybe that was the point.</p><p>She knew them all for only a couple of years but if shit hit the fan she would jump in front of James just so Steve would never lose him again, would let Sam suffocate her as he was going through his nightmare, would allow James to stay in this apartment indefinitely just so he would know that his <em>маленькая Наталья</em> was sleeping safe and no one could touch her, would hug Clint as hard as she could just so he would know that whenever he felt like slipping Lucky wasn’t the only one he had.</p><p>Pepper blinked and felt confused as she lowered her cup of tea while wiping away at the moisture which gathered in the corners of her eyes.</p><p>“I’m not angry. I was just really fucking terrified and you know how badly I react when it comes to you,” Steve murmured leaning forward and letting his knees slide through the rough carpet. His thumb brushed the corner of James’s eye and Pepper could hear a small smile in his voice.</p><p>“Of course I do, you damn punk, you never listen to me,” James chuckled and Pepper allowed herself to smile. Her realization that she would do anything for Natasha’s boys still rattled around in her head and send cold, chilly shivers down her spine because the last time she felt this feeling was when she realized that Tony Stark wasn’t who he always pretended to be.</p><p>Tony was a one-man army but he was just a one man.</p><p>And now she had four more.</p><p>A quiet beeping sound reached her ears and her eyes immediately left two men still dramatically gazing into each other’s eyes and flew to the opening door. Natasha's small and lithe body slid through the small opening she made as she quietly stepped into her own home looking around. Her green eyes caught Steve and James who were so focused on each other they scarcely regarded her even with their enhanced senses. The redhead kicked the door closed loudly with the heel of her boot and dropped a quite heavy grocery bag on the cabinet where she held a couple of her knives and on top of it a huge bowl filled with keys.</p><p>"No sex or making out on my bed, you assholes," Natasha's voice was loud even if they were right next to her. But she always knew what she was doing because Steve flinched as if he was hit and let go of James's face which he still held in his hands. He turned around and narrowed his eyes at Natasha while getting up. She rolled her eyes good-heartedly and dropped her apartment keys in the bowl before taking a couple more steps into the apartment.</p><p>Natasha's eyes quickly scanned the lightly ajar bathroom door and noted that it was still empty and just the way Pepper left it in the morning, windows were still sealed and closed, scaffold which was hanging right below the bottom of the said windows haven't moved an inch. Pepper felt weirdly proud of herself for noticing how those green eyes took everything in as if writing a report to Fury.</p><p>Maybe it was weird. How she was so used to Natasha assessing every place they went to but at the same it made her feel safe. That knowledge that if something was moved even an unnoticeable inch Natasha would notice it and sniff out what caused that faster than Pepper opened the door every time she came from a mission.</p><p>Natasha was spectacular at the things that nobody even knew existed or needed to be learned. Pepper wanted to learn. She desired to study the way Natasha's body moved through her living room at ease but all of her senses were alert. How she was investigating the situation between two men still gather near their bed solely with her ears while her eyes scanned everything. It was fascinating and addictive to watch.</p><p>Sometimes Pepper felt guilty for thinking things like that when Natasha suffered greatly to be so paranoid that an open window moved by an inch could be a threat because someone could be pointing a sniper rifle from the building on the other side of the street or hanging from the scaffold just waiting for her to stand up in a right position to make a deadly shot. But then she remembered that Natasha didn't feel shame because of her skills and she stopped feeling guilty.</p><p>Finally, her redhead stepped into a small kitchen area, and her scowl was replaced by an open-mouthed smile. She stood on the other side of the counter and leaned over to press her lips onto the tip of Pepper's nose.</p><p>Steve's bulky form appeared in the kitchen for a second as he dropped the grocery bag on the counter and left once no attention was paid to him by either of the women. Pepper's eyes starred right into Natasha's and she felt her lips turn into a smile which mirrored the redheads.</p><p>"What did I miss?" Natasha whispered as she leaned even further and bend her body almost fully over the counter just so her right hand could caress the soft and lightly flushed skin of Pepper's cheek. She pressed her mouth against her partners and let out a sigh of content before pulling away rather quickly once the counter digging into her still very much painfully bruised ribs.</p><p>"Ah, nothing much. Just a drama worthy performance from our Captain," a couple years back, when she met Steve Rogers for the first time and couldn't believe that she was seeing a national icon who died almost a century ago, she wouldn't have made light fun of Steve's dramatics and biggest fears but now she knew. Knew how uncomfortable Captain was when someone coddled him after his rather frequent and very public breakdowns, like the one she just witnessed with Barnes, and deflection and humor were more than welcome.</p><p>"Ah, you know Stevie here. Always a drama queen," James got up from the bed and ruffled Steve's messy hair while walking past him towards the kitchen. He leaned his metal shoulder on the doorframe which already had a dent in it from the same shoulder. Natasha didn't mind, just reminded him that <em>this spot is now yours and I don't want you bending any more of my shitty furniture</em>. Natasha opened up the grocery bag and started pulling out the products, the first being a bottle of milk which Pepper grabbed from her hands straight away and filled up her half-eaten cereal bowl.</p><p>"Make space. I'm gonna make breakfast," Steve announced loudly as he stripped off his jacket and dropped it on the couch which was right below the windows with rumpled sheets on it since James didn't have time to fix them when his boyfriend barged into the apartment with panic rather loudly at six in the morning.</p><p>Glancing at the clock above the doorframe Pepper realized that it was half eight and in around thirty-two minutes she should be in her office at Stark Industries. Her eyes glanced around the kitchen. To Steve who was squeezing in behind her to grab a box of the eggs of the counter and move towards the stove, to James who was trying to fit in his bulky frame into a chair next to Natasha who was calmly putting the groceries away while nodding her head to whatever off-tune melody Steve was whistling.</p><p>James's sweatpant-covered knee knocked into hers bellow the counter and she glanced at him. And once a brainwashed assassin with decades of torture on his heavy shoulders smiled at her slightly in the morning sunlight slipping through the curtain-covered window and Natasha hopped on the counter behind her, next to Steve's already heated up pan and ran her delicate fingers through her hair she decided that she could be late for once.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>маленькая Наталья - little Natalia</p><p>feel free to leave any constructive criticism you got and once again thank you for reading!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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